


am i ready for love, or maybe just a best friend? (should there be a difference? do you have instructions?)

by queercarlgrimes



Series: there’s a million city lights, but you’re number one [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Holding Hands, Love Confessions, Love Notes, M/M, bro they are teens..., flash is trying to get better, on god this might be ooc but i want them to be soft, peter is on a rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 14:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21100625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queercarlgrimes/pseuds/queercarlgrimes
Summary: “meet me on the left side bleachers tonight,” the note said





	am i ready for love, or maybe just a best friend? (should there be a difference? do you have instructions?)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from turning out by ajr and the original title was “i want a lock on your name” from cool with you by hers and both are good songs for this concept

_ “cant do this anymore. meet me on the left side bleachers at 6 tonight if you want. sorry for the sus location i just dont want anybody to see us. no hard feelings if not. ♡” _

peter froze. almost three weeks of anonymous locker notes and never once had there been an invitation like this. all the clues had been inadvertent, little mentions of a sister, being in a sport, but nothing tangible.

he showed the note to mj and ned at lunch, the three of them passing it around with varied reactions. ned told him to go, mj said not to. “it could be a setup,” mj said, “this could be your soulmate,” ned countered. it was a dizzying back and forth. 

in the end he decided to go. he said he would text them when he got there and the two would be waiting at the diner down the street from school in case of an emergency. 

“this is just like a movie,” ned cooed as they walked to their next class. “i’m so happy for you.”

out of seemingly nowhere, peter felt someone brush up against his other shoulder. he smiled when he saw flash put his phone away to elbow him. 

“parker, can i copy your trig homework? i’ll let you copy my history,” flash proposed. 

“flash, you’re terrible at history,” ned pointed out with narrowed eyes. “do your own homework.”

peter elbowed ned discreetly. him and flash had become a weird sort of friends; he hadn’t been called “penis” in forever and they shared homework, their senses of humor surprisingly similar. and peter couldn’t lie, hearing flash gush about spiderman was the most hilarious ego boost he’d ever had the pleasure of receiving. 

so they helped each other with homework and flash joined peter at lunch every now and then and one time they’d even walked home together. flash seemed to drag the conversation longer than necessary when they reached his apartment building and peter tried not to think about the resigned, almost fearful look on his friends face when he walked inside. that was two days before peter invited flash to have dinner with him and his aunt, to which flash stuttered for almost a full minute before declining. peter also tried not to think about why he had been so disappointed at that. 

“i’ve gotcha, flash,” he assured the shorter boy. 

flash’s smile, despite his best efforts, was genuine. “thanks, parker.”

-

peter maneuvered around the teens leaving track practice, not one of them looking twice. the coach didn’t even seem to notice him.

it was 5:48 and peter was nervous. heart beating out of his chest, palms sweaty,  nervous . he was hoping to arrive before his  <strike> soulmate? stalker? date? </strike> secret admirer. waiting would give him the time to calm down and figure out what to say and how to act. not that he hadn’t been doing this all day. or eaten three ice breakers on the way here. 

but from the entrance to the field, he could already see a figure sitting on the bleachers alone. he sent the confirmation text to ned, turning the phone off and pocketing it before going on. his heartbeat was in his ears as he squinted to see who it was, but the distance and the already descending sun casting shadows that left them indiscernible. 

the walk to the steps was painfully long. he could hear a couple flirting underneath one section of seats, and a group of people definitely getting high under the next. the metal squeaked under his shoes and the wind was loud in his ears and he thought he might pass out. 

suddenly he was six feet away from them. six feet away from...

“flash?” he asked cautiously, his voice cracking. 

the thompson boy jumped, clearly shaken out of a daze just as much as peter was. he stood up and quickly sat back down, scooting over a bit, offering peter a seat. peter took it silently. 

peter cleared his throat awkwardly. “so... something tells me this isn’t about the trig homework?” 

“uh... no it’s... it’s the other thing.”

“it’s you?” peter asked softly, tilting his head to try and get flash to look at him. flash’s eyes remained downward. “you’re the one leaving the notes?”

“mhm,” was all flash got out. “sorry.”

“sorry?”

“yeah, i said i’m sorry, parker,” flash snapped suddenly, and they both flinched at his tone. he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. “sorry, sorry.”

peter looked up from flash out over the football field. the sun was just starting to turn orange as it set over the city. too many thoughts and feelings were fighting for control. he weighed his options before taking a deep breath. “i’ve never heard you apologize before.”

“i’m working on it,” flash shrugged, still flushed red. “shit, i’m- you’re disappointed. this was a terrible idea. i don’t- i don’t even know what i was thinking, i was just tired of the notes, i felt stupid.”

“i thought they were sweet,” peter countered, smiling softly. “i- i’ve kept every single one of them, they’re in my room. when i, um, when i’m having a really hard day i like to read through them.”

“really?” flash finally looked up at peter, returning the smile. 

“yeah,” he shrugged sheepishly, though he couldn’t help but look skeptical. “is this- was it all a prank?”

“no!” flash insisted quickly, his voice tight. he opened his mouth before closing it again. “the fact that they made you happy, that- that’s all i really wanted, to be honest. i mean, i like you, but i didn’t know how to tell you or- or what to say.”

“well, uh... y-you sure had a lot to say in the notes,” peter pointed out with a tight chuckle. 

“peter, i could fill a whole notebook with all the shit i wanna say to you,” flash managed to get out, blushing and actually laughing in a way peter had never heard before. or maybe it was that flash had never addressed peter by his first name before. “i just... you make me... nervous.”

“i make you nervous?” peter asked incredulously, both of them giggling when his voice cracked. “flash, i don’t know how to tell you this, but you’ve picked on me non-stop since freshman year till about a month ago.“

“just pulling your pigtails, parker,” flash tried to tease, but peter couldn’t help but hold a straight face. flash noticed and fell silent immediately. “yeah, uh, i’m really sorry. would it mean anything if i explained myself?”

peter nodded and flash exhaled through his nose. collecting his thoughts. 

“when i was like, ten,” flash started in an empty voice. “my sister, she would’ve been sixteen, uh, she came out as a lesbian. and my dad... ripped her door off of its hinges. my mom said she still supported her but never did anything to help her or stop my dad. my sis- celia, her name is celia, she moved out a month later. lived with a friend, then some teen center, another friend... i don’t remember most of it, they tried to hide it from me. but now she’s living in texas and i haven’t seen her in three years. she’s got a wife now. her name is jessie, i’ve never met her.”

scooting closer, peter kept his eyes on the other boys face. flash was still looking anywhere but at peter. 

“so that’s the, uh, i guess origin of my... internalized homophobia? that’s what my therapist said anyways. all that and my dad who still, uh, he’s... m-my dad–“

“you don’t have to tell me,” peter assured him. “if you don’t want to tell me yet, it’s okay.” 

flash looked grateful for the interruption. “yeah, thanks. explaining it all makes me feel so shitty.”

peter still felt bad for cutting him off, but it was obvious that flash hated talking about his dad. he’d seen what flash looked like when he had to call his dad, heard the way he talked about his home life. the days when flash would miss school only to return with some sort of injury that he would blame on getting mugged, even though spiderman hadn’t seen anything of the sort.

“i’ve liked you since freshman year,” flash brought peter from his own thoughts so abruptly he almost got whiplash. 

“freshman year?” an incredulous giggle escaped peter against his will. 

“yeah, laugh it up, it was pathetic,” flash grinned along with him. “i knew they were crush feelings, i just... could _not_ deal with them. i figured if i said enough mean shit about you and told everyone i didn’t like you i could convince myself it was all true. 

peter hummed passively, unsure what to say. he thought about all the times flash would be on his back the second he walked into a room, smacking his ass in washington. feeling someones eyes on him in class though never being able to tell who it was. 

flash lay back, resting his head on the seats behind them, and peter did the same. somehow it didn’t even feel awkward.

“this is crazy,” flash admitted. “i can’t believe i did this. did i ruin everything? can we still be friends?”

“of course, flash,” peter promised. his hands were clasped on his abdomen, but noticing how flash’s hands just dangled next to him, he tentatively reached down and linked their fingers together. maybe it was his spider senses, but flash relaxed more instantly, squeezing peter’s hand gently. the action made him smile, a warm feeling spreading over his chest and face. “we can... can we go slow?”

flash shot upright again, though he kept their hands locked and subsequently hauled peter up with him. 

“y-yeah, we can go so slow! i don’t even know if i wanna be out yet, we can take our time,” flash rushed out, fighting off a smile. “whatever you want.”

it might’ve been two minutes or twenty, the two sitting and absorbing each other, before peter spoke again. 

“can i kiss you?”

thompsons breath caught in his throat before he nodded, turning to peter slowly. they leaned in together, lips meeting softly in the middle. 

peter hadn’t been sure what to expect. it wasn’t fireworks, but it was... something. his chest felt light; it was getting pulled into space again, and he backed away breathless. 

“good?” flash asked nervously.

peter nodded once before leaning in again. this time it was a bit longer, and flash teased peter’s bottom lip with his tongue, drawing a shiver and a giggle from the pale boy. why had nobody told him kissing was so much fun?

“hey, uh, i know it’s already dark and stuff, but do you- would you wanna come over for dinner?” peter offered, pulling away only by a few inches. he could feel a blush on his cheeks and count flash’s eyelashes from here. “my aunt is getting indian takeout and we can do the trig homework.” 

flash didn’t hesitate before nodding, standing up and bringing peter with him. 

the two walked with their hands linked off the bleachers and back to the parking lot. flash had driven to school today specifically for this, just in case. the two boys threw their bags into the backseat with a relieved sigh. 

“i honestly can’t believe i never figured it out,” peter mused. “it makes so much sense now.”

“i’m very sneaky,” flash nudged him with a smug grin. “you couldn’t keep a secret to save your life!”

peter tried not to scoff as he shrugged. “uh... sure, you’re probably right.”

“do you think we’ll see spiderman on the way there?”

“i don’t think so.”

**Author's Note:**

> but did they actually do any homework 🤔
> 
> pls comment im thinking of making this... a series?? secret relationship perhaps? tie in to canon maybe?


End file.
